By Musa Zafar
Zan Times: Hi, Taliban’s final destination in evolution. How are you today?
Anti-human rights minister: Hi. Thanks for asking. I am bad as always. What brought you here?
ZT: I was passing by. It was your ministry’s guard who brought me here. He found a pen and blank paper in my bag and thought I would defiantly write something against your government.
Minister: So, tell me. Do you really wish to defame us?
ZT: I didn’t have such an intention but now that I am here, I would like to use the opportunity to ask you some questions. Your answers will do the work.
Minister: (taking off his turban and filling the air with his perspiration from last summer) Go ahead! There is nothing I am afraid of.
ZT: Why is your government not allowing women to go to universities or work when they are allowed to do so in all other Muslim countries?
Minister: (itching the skin under his bushy beard) To be honest, we are not against women’s work or education. If they obey all the sharia laws and act according to its principles, they are most welcome to go to the offices or universities.
ZT: What are those principles and how should they confine themselves to your imaginary interpretation?
Minister: Look! It is as simple as eating a piece of cake after executing a prisoner. We believe that women are not bright enough to learn or work. So, all they must do is to act according to our beliefs and stay home. We are happy! They are happy! Problem solved.
ZT: Don’t you think it is much easier for you to pretend to be a normal human and bring some changes to your medieval beliefs? That way, too, the problem will be solved.
Minister: Look, sister! Now that we are communicating in a civilized way, let me explain it to you in simple words. Your blouse is black. Right?
ZT: Yes, minister!
Minister: Would you like to change it and put on another dress? Let’s say, a long dark blue Punjabi dress.
ZT: Yes! I don’t think there is anything wrong with changing my attire. But why should I do that? I didn’t get it.
Minister: Oh! I have reached to a conclusion that you are a women rights activist. I need to put you in a cell in a women’s prison and the dress code needs to be considered. Please follow my guard who is waiting for you at the doorstep. Thanks for the interview.
Musa Zafar is a satirist and journalist.
